These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
>things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and
now
>published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while
>these exchanges were actually taking place.

I dont quite get the last one.

______________________________
> >ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
> >WITNESS: July 18th.
> >ATTORNEY: What year?
> >WITNESS: Every year.
> >_____________________________________
> >ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
> >WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
> >______________________________________
> >ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at
all?
> >WITNESS: Yes.
> >ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
> >WITNESS: I forget.
> >ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
>forgot?
>____________________________________
> >ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
> >WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
> >ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
> >WITNESS: Forty-five years.
>____________________________________
> >ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that
>morning?
> >WITNESS: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
> >ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
> >WITNESS: My name is Susan.
>_____________________________________
> >ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
>voodoo?
> >WITNESS: We both do.
> >ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
> >WITNESS: We do.
> >ATTORNEY: You do?
> >WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
>_____________________________________
> >ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his
>sleep,
> >he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
> >WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
>__________________________________
> >ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
> >WITNESS: Uh, he’s twenty-one.
>_______________________________________
> >ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
> >WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
>___________________________________
> >ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
> >WITNESS: Yes.
> >ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
> >WITNESS: Uh….
>_____________________________________
> >ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
> >WITNESS: Yes.
> >ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
> >WITNESS: None.
> >ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
>_____________________________________
> >ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
> >WITNESS: By death.
> >ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
>_____________________________________
> >ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
> >WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
> >ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
>__________________________________
> >ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition
> >notice which I sent to your attorney?
> >WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
>____________________________________
> >ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on
dead
> >people?
> >WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
>_____________________________________
> >ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did
you go
> >to?
> >WITNESS: Oral.
>____________________________________
> >ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
> >WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
> >ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
> >WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
doing
>an
>autopsy on him!
> ___________________________________________
> >ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
> >WITNESS: Huh?
> >____________________________________________
> >
>And the best for last:
>
> >ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
for a
>pulse?
> >WITNESS: No.
> >ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
> >WITNESS: No.
> >ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
> >WITNESS: No.
> >ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when
you
>began the autopsy?
> >WITNESS: No.
> >ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> >WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
> >ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?
> >WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
>practicing law.